I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about the last decade as it comes to a close. I guess that comes from the magazines I subscribe to (Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone) that have been showcasing the best or worst of the last decade. While the last 10 years have been absolutely crazy society/government/war-wise, I wanted to focus more on a personal level.

While the things in my life were not always the way I wanted them to be I really grew up in the last 10 years. People always talk about growing up as if it happens when you’re younger, [i.e. "where did you grow up?"] but I really believe that I became who I am after I turned 18. I have made many mistakes in the last 10 years in how I have acted towards or treated people I claimed to love, and I believe I have mostly made amends with that. I’ve also made some bad decisions in how I let other people treat me. But this isn’t about that right now, this is about moving past that and the good things in my life.

With that, I am extremely looking forward to my move across the country with my mother. She is flying out here on Saturday and we are going to start driving that afternoon. If you told me 10 years ago that I would be living in Arizona and moving to Virginia at the end of 2009 I would have thought you were crazy. After high school I had no interest in being outside of New Jersey. While I didn’t always get along with my parents back then, deep down I wanted to pull away from them without really pulling away from them. To an 18-year-old me that meant going to school less than an hour and a half away and to not go to Temple anymore. I am so glad I am close enough with my mom that we are making this trip together. I think it’s half because she wants to drive and half because she wants me to be safe, but either way, I think it will be excellent.

One thing that I really have NOT struggled with in the last 10 years was my decision to live a secular life. People love to talk about their God and their religion. That doesn’t really interest me. I don’t say whether or not I believe because I don’t really think it matters since it’s a personal choice and should have no affect on anyone else [including policy changes - sorry had to throw that in there otherwise I wouldn't be me]. Whether I believe doesn’t mean that anything better or worse is going to happen for me, or that I would change the way I live my life. And for this reason I still live secularly and have faith in myself and my life.

I am so happy that after 8 years of knowing each other my bf and I are together and really happy. We will be together 3 years on Dec 31/Jan 1 and have been living together for 2.5 years. I am not one for anniversaries, but I love that ours is on New Years. It is just a meaningful time for me. I don’t usually set or stick to resolutions, but this year I have a big one. Well I guess it could be my resolution for the next decade. My goal is to be open to things I normally would say no to. I don’t mean for that to sound like the cheesy Jim Carey movie “Yes Man” or whatever. I just want to broaden my horizons and not be as judgmental. Anyone know who knows me, knows this will be no small task. I guess that is kind of cliche, but I don’t think that makes it any less true.

I guess it just boils down to the fact that I am so happy to have a partner I can go anywhere with and feel safe. Home is where he is, no matter where that is. Too bad it took me so long to realize it. (But I needed to grow up.)